im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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