she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
i drank out of a bidet.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
