Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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