2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
