Will you blow on my dice?
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
