Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
