do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
