her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
