Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
