Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
