Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
