I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
