i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
