Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
