very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
We're too hungover to prance.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
