i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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