we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
