Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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