This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Small penises have feelings too.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
