similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
