Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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