His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Randomize
