My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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