The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
