Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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