at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
