not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
