I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
