ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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