Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
