Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize
