god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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