Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
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