A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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