If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
there's paper in my vomit.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
