I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
