Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize