Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
