did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
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