have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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