I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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