It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
