i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
