We're like a lot better than the average bears
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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