Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
