just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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