im so drunk with asians
where?
always
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
