Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
