i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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