I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
